Theme by maraudersmaps
All Hail the Mutts
A double major in Statistics and Art. Wrestles constantly with insomnia and has a penchant for sarcasm. Approach with caution or coffee.


so you want to meet fine ladies but never know whether or not they’d be interested in another lady? here’s a simple guide 

  1. see a fine lady across the bar
  2. approach her
  3. offer to buy her a drink
  4. talk to her
  5. stay up until 4am talking
  6. take her home
  7. make sweet love to her
  8. treat her like a princess
  9. one night, take her to her favourite resturant
  10. order a beautiful 4 course dinner
  11. ask if she wants champagne
  12. pour her champagne
  13. there’s a ring in the glass
  14. she starts crying, you tell her she makes you happier than anything else in this world and ask her to marry you
  15. she says yes
  16. you have a beautiful wedding, so beautiful it would make clint eastwood cry like a baby
  17. have an erotic, sensual honeymoon in brazil
  18. live a wonderful 5 years together, open your own flower shop
  19. adopt a beautiful child
  20. take them all out to dinner, mexican food
  21. order fish tacos
  22. when the waiter brings your fish tacos, bite into one
  23. wink suggestively at her while biting

if she doesnt say ‘woah, sorry i’m not a lesbian’ she’s a lesbian